EIGHT AWARDS THAT MOCK AWARDS
Grammys. Tonys. Oscars. Jimmies (I made that one up — it’s a candy.)
Awards season is upon us again, time to honor not just the best but the worst. Here are eight awards that poke fun at our obsession with awards while singling out remarkable mediocrity and just plain crap.
The Razzies — Started in a UCLA dorm room in 1980, the Razzies, aka the Golden Raspberry Awards, have grown into an annual Oscar send-up for the worst in Hollywood. This year’s ceremony on April 24, the night before the Oscars, will include a special award to 2020 as “The Worst Calendar Year EVER!”
2. The Doublespeak Award — given annually by the National Council of the Teachers of English to the American who most skillfully tortured the English language in the previous year. Winners include Ronald Reagan for calling the MX Missile “the peacekeeper,” Exxon for calling the Valdez oil spill “environmentally stabiliized,” and Rush Limbaugh for just being himself. The winner in 2020 was “China virus and those who use it.”
3. Allergen of the Year — Each year the American Contact Dermatitis Society honors common allergen messing with our health. Past winners include formaldehyde, nickel, Bacitracin, and gold.
4. Golden Mullet Award — given annually by X-play gamers to the worst video game of the year. How can they tell?
5. Mr. Irrelevant — The title given each year to the very last pick in the annual NFL draft. Note: Several Mr. Irrelevants have had the last laugh by having NFL careers.
6. The Darwin Awards — Started as a Usernet newsgroup, the Darwin Awards has grown into an international competition with annual prizes and best-selling books. The award goes to those who “in the spirit of Charles Darwin” protect the gene pool by doing something fatally stupid. Lotta competitors out there these days. What did last years Darwin Award winners do to stand out? You don’t want to know.
7. The Ig-Nobel Prize — Given annualy at M.I.T. For “questionable scientific achievements.” See The Attic article “Science Farces On” for more details
8. The Most Total Mediocrity in Television — A one-time award, presented by Nichols and May at the 1959 Emmys.
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